Flow State
I have dealt with anxiety and depression for my whole life, both in myself and those around me. So, trust me when I say I know it's hard. Here is what I have found to live with these mental health issues.
Step one. Begin meditating twice a day. Once in the morning and once at night. Shoot for forty minutes all together, but if that is too much try ten minutes twice. I struggle with consistency with meditation, but it is important, so I do my best to do this. I choose to practice transcendental meditation, but find what works best for you and go for it. Just finding some mindfulness is key.
Step two. Pick your athletic endeavor, move your body. There is only one rule for this. The rule is, this athletic endeavor cannot involve mirrors. So, no dance, spin, weightlifting, and usually yoga, unless you find a studio that has no mirrors. This is a very important rule because as you build consistency your body will change, and having mirrors around will cause you to fixate on the long-term changes in your body. This is unhealthy, and while you will begin to feel better in the short term, you put yourself at greater risk for body image issues in the future. In addition, mirrors are also bad because while you are doing these activities your main goal is to enter into the flow state for as much of it as you can, and fixating on exactly what your body is doing instead of simply accepting it will impede your ability to enter the flow state.
Some activities to consider are running, biking, surfing, rock climbing, and swimming. Try to maximize outdoor time in these activities. Having fun through these activities, whatever it takes, is the most important part. Never step on a scale. Notice how your body is changing, but do not judge it. Notice how it is helping you do a better job moving in the world. (A few weeks ago I was riding a bike to meet up with a friend, and as I arrived in the parking lot I turned too sharply and my wheels slid out on a patch of sand that I didn't see. I sprang off my bike and landed on my feet as my bike hit the ground, and I said out loud, "this is why I train" — not because it makes me look better or makes me more attractive, but so that my body can move in the way I need it to.) If the athletic endeavor isn't for you, switch it up, try everything, do multiple, do triathlons. But give yourself at least ten hours a week to do this endeavor. You will have to force it at first. You will have to beg your friends to come on runs with you. But if you dedicate ten hours a week to this for eight weeks max, you will start craving it and feeling the effects.
Step three. Enter the flow state. As you learn and grow and change in your chosen endeavor you will start to feel some transcendence. Some moments where your body just knows what to do. They will be fleeting at first. But, through consistency and skill you will begin to unlock these moments of flow. These are the moments where we transcend the physical plane. We leave our bodies and our bodies take over. The feeling of your first turn on a wave, or flying down a hill while running, will pull you deeper into your chosen endeavor and you will be drawn back searching for more.
Pursuing the flow state through motion has been a backbone of my life for as long as I can remember. I choose to exercise this power through skiing, surfing, biking, and climbing for the most part, but I am always excited to expand my horizons through other endeavors.
Skiing:
In my mind I have left everyone behind. I am working my way up a steep rocky slab of ice, holding on to a metal wire to my left, delicately placing each ski boot so I do not slide down to great injury. My mind flashed back to a memory embedded in my head of overhearing a ski instructor urge their timid charge to let go of the railing as they descend the stairs into the base lodge of Sugarloaf. My mind snaps back — I need to be locked in. Each step brings me further into harm's way, but to turn around is to admit defeat, and that is not in the cards.
I have put myself in enough "danger" to be able to let every distraction that the world can cook up slip away, but not enough to have a real chance of injury or death. But I do love to scare myself — for my whole life it is the only thing that can reliably calm me down… go figure.
I reach the top of the chute and examine the next task in front of me. To ski this line. It should take my whole attention. With extreme care I place my boots into the skis, one by one. If I lose a ski to the abyss my job will not become any easier. I pick my line, I see the first three turns crystal clear in my head, and I set off. Three hop turns until the chute steepens up, then begins to widen the arcs, making sure to be in complete control for the entirety of the descent. My mind leaves my body. I trust that it knows exactly what to do. It doesn't fail me — I arrive at the bottom and look back up. Heartened, knowing that I just pushed myself and I handled the challenge with ease.
Skiing is the discipline where I take the most pride in my craft. Whether jumping off cliffs, laying down carves, or whipping through trees, to ski is to feel free. To fly down a mountain drawing unique lines that are straight out of your imagination, to leave your body as it knows what to do as you link your turns through any terrain, to fly as high as you can off a cliff and land and continue the melody of your run — I truly believe that to do these things is to come as close to utter transcendence as possible. This is freedom.
I never use substances while I ski. I am a stickler for my own form. I hate teaching people how to ski. It is cold, painful, dangerous, expensive, elitist, impossible to learn as an adult — but that one weightless instant makes the whole world, including these negatives, fade away.
Biking:
This pursuit of the flow state specifically through athletics has been an aspect of my life for as long as I can remember. As a young child, each Saturday morning at 8:00am my family would meet up with other families and ride mountain bikes. We would ride at a local state park. It took me a long time to fully appreciate how much of a gift this was.
I was a pretty unathletic kid. My parents signed me up for all the sports that my school had to offer, but I was for the most part pretty bad at them and fell far behind my peers. The concept of training so that I could be faster was somehow lost on me. It is still lost on me to this day.
← Back to all writing